I've recently moved out into a shed in the backyard that we've been renovating for almost two years. Just yesterday, I moved my new bed, my studio, and drumkit in. And it's great! I'm super happy that we've finally finished the upstairs. But now my dad has kicked me out of the family house. Which yea, I knew would happen, but it was just suddenly there and I'm freaking out about it.

I now have to learn how to cook, self-sustain, and keep up with bills and taxes. I know every adult has to do this, but I don't feel like an adult, and I turn 20 in March. I'm a very social person, and not being around my family to talk, especially my brother, has made me lonely and drained.

I'm taking one more semester at a community college to buy time until I move up to the city for university, but that's only until June. I feel so much pressure to do all this, and I'm all by myself. I struggle so badly with ADHD that I worry if I'll be able to function on my own. I'm in a really scary spot, and still dazed from the transfer, so I just ask that you guys hope the best for me. I don't want to repeat that month long depression I had last year, but even as an optimist, I fear it's starting to creep in again.

I'm confused, you were kicked out of the house but you still live in the backyard? And you're not allowed to talk to them? Isn't that awkward?

Anyway, I believe in you! You can do it!

Yea, we have a shed in the backyard that we’ve cleaned up, and I’ve moved in there. Still at home, technically, but I'm not allowed to “live” there, so I can’t talk with my family as much. It’s so weird, and I’m having to get used to living alone.

you are at a crossroads, and you will rise to the occasion as you must! it ain't easy but you will do it.

it's pretty hecked up for your family to exile you with no notice though, I don't think that's okay and it'll be good for you to get away once you do.

Up to you if you want to confront them about it, but like you say, it is pretty weird. Maybe they want to show tough love, and they could understand that it is weird and a bit unreasonable to exclude you like this and change. But if not, yeah gtfo of there when you can.

I would like to clarify that my dad is the one who made the call. My mom is most likely not agreeing with him, but she’s not gonna win the case.

i don't know all the circumstances and relationships behind this, of course, and i can't know, but on its face that's messed up. you will absolutely rise to the occasion like dami said -- you're definitely stronger than you might think you are! i hope you can get out of there before long and build your own life not at the mercy of one person's decisions.

the concept of getting kicked out like this is alien to me, but i still hope for the best for ya. 🙏

they didn't even try to teach you the skills you need? talk about bad parenting. no one deserves to get thrown into the deep end like that. i hope things get better for you soon

@Caffeinator No, honestly, they tried, but I really could not catch on. Like managing money, for example, they have explained it multiple times, and every time I need to do it myself I just blank.

This sounds a bit serious. Have you had any professional help with your "catching on" and "blank" issues?

@Tex Yeah, I'm currently going to a counselor to help me with these things. She's been helpful and supportive, but ADHD is still the roadblock.

Not to make light of it but this is like something a cartoon dad would do as a form of tough love... geez! I think you are gonna be fine and make it through, like others said you're stronger than you know, though I'd obviously never wish that on anyone

Not sure all the circumstances that led up to this--if it's some messed-up "family disagrees with my '''lifestyle'''" situation then I'm really sorry. If it's just something to get you into adult living... it actually sounds super cushy.

You didn't mention paying rent... that's where the challenges start! Being a social person, you can look forward to potentially sharing a rented space (and expenses) with other people (could be good, could be bad. Find some other musicians to live with and you'll definitely have an interesting time.)

Cooking is easy! Just make yourself nourishing and tasty slop that you can eat over rice. Or, there's always just cereal. But for real, learning about the macronutrients of proteins, fats, and carbs and what a body needs is important -- just read a book or watch a good YouTube video on general nutrition. Veggies can be amazing if they're actually cooked and seasoned okay.

Clean up after yourself so you have a space you can be proud of and nobody will shake their head when they think of how you keep house.

It's a big and intimidating change. But, you know, many have gone through it before!! You'll make it through the challenges.

one thing to note - even if your dad is being a jerk, reach out to others and gather a party of allies.

your mom, your brother, your friends, cousins, coworkers, etc - it's always harder to ask for help when you're in the middle of trouble, I find, and if you take the time beforehand to make sure you've got people in your corner, sometimes they will just poke their head in and be like "Hey, are you okay? Can I do something to help?" without you even needing to think to ask them.

If it makes you feel better I lived at home until I was 21 - I left on my own, once I had a job, and a buddy at work who offered to split a two bedroom apartment with me - so slightly different circumstances, but not much age difference from where you're at now. You can learn by doing! and you can learn by leaning on your allies, get coffee with someone and tell them, "I have no fucking clue how to make food for myself, would you be willing to like come over and cook with me and we could watch a move together afterwards or something?

Honestly this is cheesy but - approach it like an OHB in an unfamiliar format. How do I do this? Oh god I only have an hour to make *something* - but then, after the hour, you're like - okay, I think I kinda see how this works, my next one will be better. Then rinse and repeat until you're the one hosting battles in the format. It's very possible to do, people do it all the time!

@Sloopygoop Yeah, rent will be pretty difficult, but I'm pushing through it. I love the idea of moving in with musicians! Hopefully I can find some in Oklahoma City!

@blockblockblock Your approach to this is so good. It has been easier than expected to find people to confide in, and I've got one coworker who invited me to visit his house soon to learn some recipes! And tackling it like an OHB, that's thinking outside the box.

@everyoneinthisthread Thank you all so much! Little update, just went grocery shopping for the first time, with my mom helping me find healthy options, and I'm feeling really confident. Also might have found a way to extend my stay from June until October, just by taking another semester, so that's pretty great

Damn. Sounds like your father needs to get his act together. Throwing your son out and having him live in a shed in your backyard is some top-tier nonsense.