Okay. Last night's was a weird one... it came about because I was reading Kleeder's 2HB suggestion thread
the other day.
Basically, in my dream I had decided that I was going to host an SPC 2HB. I had never hosted or participated in a 2HB before but I had come up with the brilliant idea that if there was a risk of me losing over 1k boons, I was going to "crowdfund" the battle.
So what I had done was set up this strawpoll post to gauge interest in the battle before hosting. Essentially it was this multi-page poll with questions like "What is your BotB username?", "Would you be interested in a 2HB at [scheduled time]?", "What format would you like?" ,"Would you be willing to put in a deposit of 200.0 boons to help host the battle?" etc etc.
Eventually it came time to host the 2HB and I had amassed 1100.0 boons. I thought "Alright, this should be enough. Time to host the battle!"
There was just one problem, however. As mentioned earlier, I had never hosted a 2HB before up until this point, only OHBs. I had no idea what the process for hosting 2HBs entailed, but as it turns out--in true BotB fashion--it was not straightforward at all. Things were about to get wacky
I was suddenly transported to some sort of BotB warehouse. I don't know how or why I got there, but I was no longer looking at the BotB website in front of my computer. You know how it looks like when you walk into a store like Home Depot, being greeted with a huge warehouses with shelves lined up toward the back and row of registers in the front? Yeah, it looked like that. Except the registers were completely empty with nobody attending to them, and the shelves were lined up with BotB themed stuff.
I was at the heart of BotB. The physical manifestation of the site itself. I looked around and saw control panels with buttons and switches for various BotB site functionality: "Edit profile", "Change palette". There were bulletin boards hung from the ceiling which showed the latest entries posted to the site in realtime. I kept looking.
Eventually, I found what it is I was looking for: I came face-to-face with what looked to be some large shelf or box underneath a large tarp. I removed the tarp to uncover what was hidden underneath. Staring at me was a large, rectangular button, the size of a small table, with the words written in large letters: "Host 2HB"
Aha, there it is!
I pushed it--it took a bit of force to depress the button and I had to use both of my hands. I waited a couple of seconds... nothing. I pushed it again. Still nothing. I'm not sure what I expected, I thought that maybe some sort of countdown timer would appear, or there would be some sort of fanfare, but nothing happened. I knew something wasn't right.
I turned my head and looked to my left and I saw some sort of kiosk--like one of those self-serve or self-checkout station kiosks, except what was on the monitor was... BotB? I walked over to the monitor and noticed that the page had my palette. Somehow, I was already logged in here. I looked at what was on the screen and I saw the following message:
"ERROR: You need 1,000.0 döne to host a 2HB."
What the hell was Döne??
At this point, I was panicking. It had been about 30 minutes since the scheduled time I was planned on hosting this battle. People were waiting. The @s on Discord were piling up. Gradually, people were becoming less interested in joining. "I can't waste everyone's deposit", I thought. "I can't lose all these boons!"
I began using the kiosk to browse BotB as normal. I found a lyceum page on BotB currencies. I clicked it. As it turns out, while I had been away from BotB for a few years, puke had implemented a second type of currency.
There were the boons
, and then there were the döne
Now, get this, one döne was worth... exactly the same amount as one boon! The only difference described by the lyceum was that the döne was implemented to be used specifically for hosting 2HBs and 4HBs. At this point, I was furious. "What is even the point?!"
I thought. Well, alright. So 1,000 döne is 1,000 boons. Great, I have more than that. Now the question is how do I convert them?
As it turns out, in order to exchange boons for döne, I had to download and install some program from the lyceum page on my local machine, and use that program to upload some sort of file which would apparently verify my exchange??
So I began to do that...
And unfortunately, I don't remember what happened after that. I think maybe I woke up, or perhaps I drifted into some other unrelated dream. And thus, the story of Jimmy and the 2HB ends on a cliffhanger.
That ended up being longer to type out than I expected. I dunno what the meaning behind this dream was. Maybe the solution to the 2HB issue is to implement a new BotB currency, or encourage crowdfunding battles as the new meta. Who knows. I guess the moral is to be prepared before you try to host a battle.
In any case, now I'm craving döner kebab. I think I might order some this weekend.
tl;dr - Tried to host a 2HB. Ended up in a weird BotB warehouse and couldn't host it because my boons were in the wrong currency.