most of you guys have forgotten about sc00p since he disappeared mysteriously during november/december 2019, but it turns out sc00p is still alive and doing well!

...sort of. the covid-19 situation is the most heartbreaking and the strongest struggle that has forced me much more into changing the way i socialize on the net and to focus on my hobbies much more, but especially PROCRASTINATING even when i don't have a froggin social on every time.
italy has become a big blunder and i am seriously fed up being in a country that is the first to have the most virus cases right before china, and said country is full of fascist delinquents. just as worse as american delinquents.
when school started to take on the power of homeschooling on me, i decided to log out from discord out from my pc so that i'll focus a lot more on private hobbies. you know, i decided to take a step away from drawing dirty bullcrap in aseprite.
until when the quarantine ends my parents took my pc in their parents room in order for me to take video lessons with school (which also leaves me to finally.... procrastinate a lot more in my pc after wasting time checking my phone in a useless way.), but the sense of wanting to go outside is growing a lot inside me.
...and not forgetting i still am messing on famitracker and it is the only program i find really comfortable to play with after fricking years, but looking at my progresses i've done last year, i've did less covers than usual and considering my departure from pc activity, i'm making really less than usual.
that being said for the programming side. game programming is no longer a thing that i want to take it further considering i always spit out incomplete prototypes and then once left in limbo it never comes back to me. i decided to instead take my time and focus on tabletop gaming.
and now i have a serious problem with too much drawing. other than the usual procrastination i have with music, i've been using a lot of pinterest and its making me feel more annoyed. i don't know why i am drawing a lot only to leave out a bunch of messed up, mostly confusing to look at drawings that i don't consider them satisfying because they mostly come out distorted.
i really hate my behaviour towards the fact i'm forced to waste time on drawing, which somehow has become more of a stressful passion than a fun passion.

i wish you best regards and i hope you have fun. i'm out of here.

what

Sounds rough sc00p. I don't know you but it's interesting to hear how this all is affecting everybody across the world. Sorry to hear your testimony about fascist shitheads and horrible virus-handling blunders. That does sound a lot like over here in America.

But hey friend, don't beat yourself up too much about how you're expressing yourself in your creative outlets. There's nothing more satisfying than doing the things you want to do, but everyone has a lot of anxiety and it can be really hard to focus these days. It's just a sign of the times. Maybe you can make great things out of it or maybe not, but at least you're working to make things all the same. Keep your eyes on little goals that are actually fun and rewarding for you to complete and you might see progress that you like.

I am a clerical worker in state government (not federal) here, and I at least still have a job, but getting to my office takes so much time and energy that it's often very difficult for me to make much of my own progress on projects during the evenings. I am trying not to worry about that too much. Tiny bits of progress are better than none, and it's not worth beating yourself up about right now. We've got to keep looking after our mental health after all <3

with drawing, have you tried the trick where you flip it horizontally periodically as you're drawing it to check for any funkyness because your eyes may be deceiving you??

i don't draw on digital anymore so this one is a terrific miss. drawing on traditional seems to provide a unique advantage regarding the automations of the arm/brain but you'll miss out a bunch of digital software usefulness like that. consequently, my drawing skills got awry again and i'm more skilled into using famitracker to spend my time alone doing covers.
i wish i would tell what's next but i'm gonna have to keep everything to myself...

if its on paper you can flip it around and hold it up to light

Hello Neighbor. Don't be sad, the times are getting better. You just have to be patient. Try to enjoy the little things. Corona will soon be defeated and life can go on.
la vita è bella

still not coming back actively but i've had this habit of mysteriously coming back just for another bit of word to give. (by the way i see that Chip Champion got to level 31!)
first of all, i've managed to graduate from school which is however a hollow victory because i've slightly became less and lesser believable to be able to do things fine. and it's no fricking good.
also i've become a bit of intollerable to adult artwork since a while (even if it was a recurring interest i had for years), for quite a year i used to post my drawings on my twitter account but further to my own realization i tend to do things without having proper fundamentals learned.
my mental pain grew up when my 5 year old pc broke after attempting to update windows 10 to a major update after 1.5 years since i stopped updating my pc and i have only been able to recover JUST the files from my desktop and not everything else due to daddy reformatting my broken hard drive (one of the files i had just lost was that horrible unfinished megalovania cover i did on fl studio but who cares).
yeah, if i had lost all my files i wouldn't be able to catch up with you peepz anymore. despite being able to recover a lot of files, i feel completely lost, being unable to work on anything original for the moment. right now i was supposed to try to start working on one song for the ongoing Summer Chip but i immediately have no idea what i'm trying to get.
all of my music i posted on BoTB were done with NO planning at all, they were all done with feet (some of you know the meaning of this), rushed and just like how i draw, i don't have fundamentals. the only thing i think i'm truly capable to do is watching tv series and playing pico-8 and a bunch of old games i still have from the files i recovered. that's it.

oh, i haven't even told you one of the reasons why i decided to stay away from people who i do not know in real life is that over the past years (even before i came here) i've suffered tons with excessive dramas with a lot of people (man, i've been a pretty controversial person) and i thought that further on there'd be no chances for me to hang up recurringly with strangers. probably few of you might have noticed me going less active since the end of 2019 when i started binge-watching.
...but this year means so much about my disappearance. for these years i've grew up my talents from the internet, and most of my life was dedicated to it. ever since i've been come close to finish school, i never had the need to keep chatting with you because i feared i'd make the same grave mistakes i've done to others. remember, i almost was going to go full crap last year, but pacts were made before i came back to the party. now it's time for me to acknowledge that i don't deserve too much to keep living here. i need to restart my hobbies, sometime, somewhere...

farewell again botb. may you still have fun chipping around!!

start a blog

goodbye