178985
welcome to the battle!! of the bits!!!!
Level 18 Mixist
Points by Class
Mixist
3884
XHBist
2696
Chipist
1378
Playa
884
Criticist
827
Hostist
276
Photographist
128
Grafxicist
112
Latist
-2
total 10183
next level 10266
created 2023-11-12
last here 2025-04-23
:3
1,708 profile views
b176.43
13 INF
9.506 Votes/Entries
188149
200706
happy first burfday!! what a productive first year too. feels like longer.
200707
200709
200716
happy burfday :3
200737
happy burfday
200762
200765
201851
.............damn i *really* missed your burfday
211491
avo set hal lo !
214777
thanks but i genuinely do not want to return to participating here. it wasn't an isolated incident, it was the culmination of a number of frustrations i have with the community which pushed me over the edge
before i go any further, i want to say that i do not want to start a large drama. i just want to provide an explanation for why i have grown to dislike this place for those who may seek it. i do not wish to attack moderators/admins for their approach; i see that the problem is that i do not fit in here which is why i am just removing myself from the equation, as it seems the easiest resolution. i do not want everyone to start arguing over this; you do not have to agree with my feelings, but they are nonetheless what i feel; there is a reason i am choosing to just explain this on my profile instead of in a general forum post or such
the thing which originally drew me in to botb so much was the atmosphere during dami's series of weekly allgears, and specifically during the synclistens. it felt like album premiere vibes; there was much more of an atmosphere of celebrating the music instead of solely just analysing the tunes to pick a vote. this does not equate to forced positivity, just seeking to see the best in others' music. you do not have to understand to respect; you do not have to understand to appreciate. on the polar opposite side, we have botbrs who make no effort to express any interest in others' entries. one incident of this which particularly annoyed me was during one of aidan's shutter stroll battles, when mattmoney did not say anything as results were being called out one by one, yet as soon as it was announced he won he appeared and even posted a prepared screenshot of the project file. this is not the only incident, or only botbr, to take this approach, just the first one which comes to mind for me. of course sometimes you will not be around during voting or results for whatever reason some times - it is when it becomes a repeated approach i take issue with it: imagine if everyone was just always silent about everyone else's tunes. there's no strict rule breaking, but it would feel pretty shitty to me - at that point, what is the point of doing it as a community activity instead of just making your own tune on your own with your own prompt and letting it rot away on your hard drive? you're already listening through every entry to vote on it, so it's no extra time or effort to find positive things to express about others' entries. even if you dislike an entry, it is unlikely that you dislike all the melodies, all the harmonies, all the rhythms, all the structural decisions, all the textural decisions, all the sound design, all the mixing etc.; this does not have to be without criticisms, the point is that you can almost always find *something* to say about an entry, and there is almost always a way in which you can express it in a compassionate manner. on a personal level, there is a large proportion of chiptune which i do not feel i fully understand, but it is not hard to go through the different musical aspects and try to find something to appreciate - the uniqueness or effort which went into it, if nothing else. i myself am guilty of sometimes not putting much effort into expressing my thoughts on others' entries; i am not saying everyone should be perfect, just that everyone should try to do more than nothing.
i'm also frustrated by what i perceive to be the general atmosphere in the discord, outside of battles. too often, people seem extremely quick to assume that disagreements equate to a full blown argument; disagreements are natural and can be constructive, particularly when you actually allow room for any form of nuance and attempting to understand others' perspectives. i think this arises especially when there are just fundamental differences in the way people communicate, e.g. kleeder's bluntness does not mean they utterly and completely hate you as a person!! it also feels like people are hesitant to acknowledge actual issues sometimes. any time i bring up misgendering it feels like people are quicker to attack me for bringing it up than to address the actual issue. honest mistakes happen, but it is not hard to look at someone's discord profile and see their pronouns. calling someone who explicitly does not use they/them pronouns 'they' is also misgendering, and i do not think that should be controversial. i know there are a number of botbrs who are fairly ambivalent towards what pronouns people use for them - awesome, but please do not assume your perspective is a shared one amongst all the trans folk (i know there was one incident somewhat recently where i got annoyed at someone for misgendering someone else and appeared to assume their preferences - that was a misinterpretation on my part, i had thought their message was referring to me not luna). similar thing with bro, man, guy etc.; it feels like people are quick to go bUt iTs gEnDeR nEuTrAl - yes some trans folk won't care, but the intentions of the person are somewhat irrelevant when it is uncomfortable for the other person. i was also somewhat disappointed a few months ago when i brought up revvobolt hating a comment on one of my visual entries (which was based around pride flags) saying 'trans rights', and everyone seemed to kind of just forget, despite the fact revvobolt silently removed it and did not offer any form of apology or explanation.. it is small gestures like this which contribute to me generally feeling less comfortable in this community despite the abundance of non-cis folks
more specifically about yesterday: it seems extremely insensitive to take the approach of 'you shouldn't take it so seriously'. people naturally care about others' opinions of their music; if everyone suddenly turned on you and said they think your music fucking sucks, would you seriously not feel even slightly emotionally impacted? i don't think many botbrs could say yes. and yes, that is an extreme exaggeration; i am aware of this, i am using it to make the point that simply telling people not to care is not helpful when it is an involuntary and instinctual reaction. and, to be even more specific: for one thing, i had not thoroughly checked if anyone else had also just about voted higher on the illegal entry than mine when i expressed my frustrations; yes matt's vote on mine stuck out so i looked at his other votes, but i was not sure from a cursory glance if others would also be included in that category, hence the 'vaguepost' which matt took issue with. furthermore - like i said before, there are almost always things you can find to appreciate about an entry. and yes, it is within your rights to vote however you want! but imagine spending 3.5h on an entry, which does fit your interpretation of the bitpack well (trying to stay positive but failing to restrain the negative emotions through feeling overwhelmed, in this case), and seeing it be given a 1, while the same person votes higher on an entry which everyone agreed to be illegal. tell me that wouldn't sting slightly, especially coming from a person who's approach to the community you have continually found arrogant and detrimental to the atmosphere of the community (this is not just me also - i have had a number of botbrs express that they share this sentiment in dms). i was not expecting it to do well as i understand super-distorted hyperpop-inspired shit is not for everyone, but i expected an effort to at least appreciate some aspect of it. 'if you were really proud of it you wouldn't care about the votes' it is possible to simultaneously be proud of what you made and be hurt by others' response to it. i understand some people were trying to give genuine advice about not caring about votes so much, but the way people chose to word it felt more like an attack on me than a genuine compassionate attempt to make me feel better. about checking vote logs: i do not always do it; in instances where i do worse than expected, it can make me feel better to see there were just one or two outliers and most people liked my entry a reasonable amount. this is an approach another person mentioned to me a while ago. it was not without reason, and if it's supposedly always a shit idea to check vote logs, why are they a feature? if you do not want people to see your votes, what are you hiding?
like i said, i do not want my profile to become swamped in responses to this. if you want to start an argument about any of the above, please consider just keeping those thoughts to yourself and respecting my peace. i am extremely uncomfortable with heated arguments and do not want any; i spent an hour physically shaking last night after i left the discord because i have some kind of weird amplified physical responses to anxiety. this is just my perspective on everything, please do not try to tell me i do not feel what i feel. thanks
and thank you to the botbrs who i have always had a pleasant time around. alexa, bun, dami, jangler, kipallo, twospaces, nicole and many others i can't think of at this moment because my brain is fried <3 there is a reasonable chance i just eat my words and start battling again someday. kleeder is probably expecting me to do this within a week. but if not, bye
before i go any further, i want to say that i do not want to start a large drama. i just want to provide an explanation for why i have grown to dislike this place for those who may seek it. i do not wish to attack moderators/admins for their approach; i see that the problem is that i do not fit in here which is why i am just removing myself from the equation, as it seems the easiest resolution. i do not want everyone to start arguing over this; you do not have to agree with my feelings, but they are nonetheless what i feel; there is a reason i am choosing to just explain this on my profile instead of in a general forum post or such
the thing which originally drew me in to botb so much was the atmosphere during dami's series of weekly allgears, and specifically during the synclistens. it felt like album premiere vibes; there was much more of an atmosphere of celebrating the music instead of solely just analysing the tunes to pick a vote. this does not equate to forced positivity, just seeking to see the best in others' music. you do not have to understand to respect; you do not have to understand to appreciate. on the polar opposite side, we have botbrs who make no effort to express any interest in others' entries. one incident of this which particularly annoyed me was during one of aidan's shutter stroll battles, when mattmoney did not say anything as results were being called out one by one, yet as soon as it was announced he won he appeared and even posted a prepared screenshot of the project file. this is not the only incident, or only botbr, to take this approach, just the first one which comes to mind for me. of course sometimes you will not be around during voting or results for whatever reason some times - it is when it becomes a repeated approach i take issue with it: imagine if everyone was just always silent about everyone else's tunes. there's no strict rule breaking, but it would feel pretty shitty to me - at that point, what is the point of doing it as a community activity instead of just making your own tune on your own with your own prompt and letting it rot away on your hard drive? you're already listening through every entry to vote on it, so it's no extra time or effort to find positive things to express about others' entries. even if you dislike an entry, it is unlikely that you dislike all the melodies, all the harmonies, all the rhythms, all the structural decisions, all the textural decisions, all the sound design, all the mixing etc.; this does not have to be without criticisms, the point is that you can almost always find *something* to say about an entry, and there is almost always a way in which you can express it in a compassionate manner. on a personal level, there is a large proportion of chiptune which i do not feel i fully understand, but it is not hard to go through the different musical aspects and try to find something to appreciate - the uniqueness or effort which went into it, if nothing else. i myself am guilty of sometimes not putting much effort into expressing my thoughts on others' entries; i am not saying everyone should be perfect, just that everyone should try to do more than nothing.
i'm also frustrated by what i perceive to be the general atmosphere in the discord, outside of battles. too often, people seem extremely quick to assume that disagreements equate to a full blown argument; disagreements are natural and can be constructive, particularly when you actually allow room for any form of nuance and attempting to understand others' perspectives. i think this arises especially when there are just fundamental differences in the way people communicate, e.g. kleeder's bluntness does not mean they utterly and completely hate you as a person!! it also feels like people are hesitant to acknowledge actual issues sometimes. any time i bring up misgendering it feels like people are quicker to attack me for bringing it up than to address the actual issue. honest mistakes happen, but it is not hard to look at someone's discord profile and see their pronouns. calling someone who explicitly does not use they/them pronouns 'they' is also misgendering, and i do not think that should be controversial. i know there are a number of botbrs who are fairly ambivalent towards what pronouns people use for them - awesome, but please do not assume your perspective is a shared one amongst all the trans folk (i know there was one incident somewhat recently where i got annoyed at someone for misgendering someone else and appeared to assume their preferences - that was a misinterpretation on my part, i had thought their message was referring to me not luna). similar thing with bro, man, guy etc.; it feels like people are quick to go bUt iTs gEnDeR nEuTrAl - yes some trans folk won't care, but the intentions of the person are somewhat irrelevant when it is uncomfortable for the other person. i was also somewhat disappointed a few months ago when i brought up revvobolt hating a comment on one of my visual entries (which was based around pride flags) saying 'trans rights', and everyone seemed to kind of just forget, despite the fact revvobolt silently removed it and did not offer any form of apology or explanation.. it is small gestures like this which contribute to me generally feeling less comfortable in this community despite the abundance of non-cis folks
more specifically about yesterday: it seems extremely insensitive to take the approach of 'you shouldn't take it so seriously'. people naturally care about others' opinions of their music; if everyone suddenly turned on you and said they think your music fucking sucks, would you seriously not feel even slightly emotionally impacted? i don't think many botbrs could say yes. and yes, that is an extreme exaggeration; i am aware of this, i am using it to make the point that simply telling people not to care is not helpful when it is an involuntary and instinctual reaction. and, to be even more specific: for one thing, i had not thoroughly checked if anyone else had also just about voted higher on the illegal entry than mine when i expressed my frustrations; yes matt's vote on mine stuck out so i looked at his other votes, but i was not sure from a cursory glance if others would also be included in that category, hence the 'vaguepost' which matt took issue with. furthermore - like i said before, there are almost always things you can find to appreciate about an entry. and yes, it is within your rights to vote however you want! but imagine spending 3.5h on an entry, which does fit your interpretation of the bitpack well (trying to stay positive but failing to restrain the negative emotions through feeling overwhelmed, in this case), and seeing it be given a 1, while the same person votes higher on an entry which everyone agreed to be illegal. tell me that wouldn't sting slightly, especially coming from a person who's approach to the community you have continually found arrogant and detrimental to the atmosphere of the community (this is not just me also - i have had a number of botbrs express that they share this sentiment in dms). i was not expecting it to do well as i understand super-distorted hyperpop-inspired shit is not for everyone, but i expected an effort to at least appreciate some aspect of it. 'if you were really proud of it you wouldn't care about the votes' it is possible to simultaneously be proud of what you made and be hurt by others' response to it. i understand some people were trying to give genuine advice about not caring about votes so much, but the way people chose to word it felt more like an attack on me than a genuine compassionate attempt to make me feel better. about checking vote logs: i do not always do it; in instances where i do worse than expected, it can make me feel better to see there were just one or two outliers and most people liked my entry a reasonable amount. this is an approach another person mentioned to me a while ago. it was not without reason, and if it's supposedly always a shit idea to check vote logs, why are they a feature? if you do not want people to see your votes, what are you hiding?
like i said, i do not want my profile to become swamped in responses to this. if you want to start an argument about any of the above, please consider just keeping those thoughts to yourself and respecting my peace. i am extremely uncomfortable with heated arguments and do not want any; i spent an hour physically shaking last night after i left the discord because i have some kind of weird amplified physical responses to anxiety. this is just my perspective on everything, please do not try to tell me i do not feel what i feel. thanks
and thank you to the botbrs who i have always had a pleasant time around. alexa, bun, dami, jangler, kipallo, twospaces, nicole and many others i can't think of at this moment because my brain is fried <3 there is a reasonable chance i just eat my words and start battling again someday. kleeder is probably expecting me to do this within a week. but if not, bye
214779
*hugs tightly*
please take care naydra.
please take care naydra.
214780
Thank you for taking the time to explain the thought behind your decision. I absolutely respect your decision to leave, and I apologize for phrasing my thoughts in a way that grated. I hope you feel better even if you never return.
