A collection of thoughts that I've kept bottled up in me for so long and just need to let out. Contains themes of grief, loneliness, depression, anxiety, worthlessness, and isolation.
This is my first ever attempt at writing a rap song, let alone lyrics for any song, as well as using my own voice in anything I've made. Despite not listening to much rap myself, it felt like the best way for me to vent these feelings out in a productive manner. The beat for this song is greatly inspired by the instrumental for "Dear Mama" by 2Pac.
I've contemplated on whether or not I should upload something this personal and emotionally heavy to Summer Chip, but I felt like my post in this thread couldn't completely encompass what I've been feeling for the past several months. Funnily enough, the desire to put these negative emotions to a productive use fueled me enough to compose and produce this whole song in three days.
What made me decide to go through with posting it to BotB is the fact that I was always disgusted at the sound of my own voice. I can't stand hearing it in any recordings that I'm in, and I'm certainly not used to using my voice in this manner. Not to mention that I don't have quality equipment or knowledge of mastering.
But making this was so important to me that I want it to be heard, regardless of how I feel about my own voice, or how ear-grating my singing is, or how much my anxiety tries to convince me to regret making this, because my thoughts are still the same regardless of how I sound, or where I say them. It might not seem like much, but for me, publishing this is a bold step for me to take in feeling a little more confident in myself.
Apologies if my flow is wack, or if my lyrics are unfocused, or whatever flaws this track may have. Wherever this track places, I hope you all can find enjoyment from listening, as this track is a first for me in many ways. <3
Made in Renoise.
Lyrics
Instrumental
